Kurt Pankau Dot Com

🏆 Because That's How I Beat Shaq... Hey y'all, It's getting to be that time of year, so if you're someone who is reading for things like the Hugos--and if you happen to enjoy my particular brand of weird--I would humbly ask that you consider my story  A Pin Drops . It's flash fiction, it's bonkers, and I have traumatized my friends with it. Perhaps it is something you could distract yourself with on this most stressful of days 🙃 Thanks, ]{p

🐀 Despite All My Rage... My wife has a sticker on her car that reads: "More rights for others doesn't mean fewer rights for you. It's not pie." It's one of those things that is so glaringly obvious that you shouldn't have to say it. And yet... we live in a country where sizeable portion of the population is voting for an "anti-woke" agenda, even if it will hurt them economically and infringe on their own rights--and potentially end democracy in America. How can people vote against their own self-interest like that? Are they that  motivated by racism, sexism, and homophobia? And the answer is no... but also yes... but also no. (But also yes.) The motivation isn't overtly about those things--although let's be very  clear that these people are  being racist, sexist, and homophobic, whether they're willing to acknowledge it or not. But what's actually motivating them is something more sinister, but also more understandable. It's abou...

⚠️ It's Dangerous To Go Alone... The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild  is my favorite installment in one of my all-time favorite video game franchises. It was the killer-app launch title for the Nintendo Switch and was hailed as a return to form for a series that had gone so deep on its own lore that... uh... I think the technical term is "it's head had disappeared up its own asshole." Breath of the Wild  reoriented the gameplay on exploration instead of story progression, and it was such a success that seemingly every other AAA series started putting out imitators. This is how we ended up with an open-world Sonic the Hedgehog  game, which is not a thing that needs to exist in any universe. While it's considered story-light for this series--most of the narrative is told in snippets of flashback--the storytelling is actually one of my favorite things about it. For starters, I am a sucker for being drip-fed parts of a narrative and being forced to fill in the gap...

🧑‍⚖️ It's a Little Bit Me, It's a Little Bit You... This last weekend was the 47th  Archon , the local speculative fiction convention here in St. Louis. I started attending as a panelist right after things opened up post-COVID. Needless to say, overall attendance was down and they were in pretty dire need of speakers, so I fast-tracked my way onto the "Pro" tier. I've gone every year since, and I've developed a bit of a reputation as a fantastic moderator. To wit, five minutes into my first Saturday panel. I'd just wrapped up my opening spiel and was about to start the discussion-proper when the panelist on my right turned to me with what I initially thought was exasperation. "Oh my god," she said, "can I bring you to all of my panels to moderate?" This panelist just happened to be the Toastmistress of the con. As Toastmistress, her schedule was stacked, so I can see her being extra appreciative. A badly-managed panel is exhausting to ...

👑 Kings and Queens and Guillotines... Hey everybody! Next weekend, October 4th - 6th, I will be attending Archon 47 at the Gateway Convention Center in Collinsville, Illinois. I'll be on some writing craft panels and also putting on a concert as my alter ego, Uncle Fluffy. So if you're going to be in attendance as well, here's where you can find me: Short Stories: Big Ideas in a Small Package 4 Oct 2024, Friday 13:00 - 14:00, Salon 2 Not everything has to be grand, epic multi-book endeavors! Sometimes your idea fits best as a short story. Discuss the elements of a great short story, and how to approach them if you’re not used to thinking on a smaller scale. Surprise! You are the Panelist! 4 Oct 2024, Friday 14:00 - 15:00, Illini A A Moderator is selected but 2 to 3 other panelists are selected from the audience randomly. A subject (chosen by the Moderator) to talk about is handed to the surprise panelists to discuss. I've Got Ideas - Now What? (moderating) 4 Oct 2024,...

🎱 Thick Smoke, See Her Smilin' Through... We've all heard the adage: "Show, don't tell." It is, if we're being completely honest with ourselves, a bit over-deployed. It's mainly aimed at the kinds of new writers who think describing events is the same as telling a story, but once you reach a certain level of craft proficiency, you realize that showing versus telling is more about the trade-off. To show something is more engaging, but to tell is more expedient. Sometimes you "tell" in order to preserve pacing. Sometimes you "show" because you can make it into an amusing bit. But sometimes it's best to just do neither... Don't Show, Don't Tell, Cue So why is showing-versus-telling even a thing? The reason has to do with something I talked about in the last post: backstory. Backstory, for the uninitiated, is the necessary context for your story that isn't actually a part of the main plot. This can be everything from world-...

🤐 I'll Never Forget About Larry... As I've mentioned a few times, I work with a lot of new writers, and something that happens not-infrequently is that someone has joined the group because they want to write their memoirs. And I'm not one to talk down to someone who wants to develop their craft as a writer. If someone just wants to collect the stories of their life and are planning to self-publish it and only their family is going to read it (but I repeat myself), that's fine . But if you are actually hoping to make some money from your writing, there's something you're going to need to come to grips with... No One Wants to Read Your Goddamn Memoir Before the pedants descend upon me, let me acknowledge that the words "memoir" and "memoirs" mean different things even though most people use them interchangeably. Technically a memoir is an individual story, and a memoirs is a collection of them. I tend to use whichever word feels right in the m...

✒️ But I Want to be a Paperback Writer... Hey all, couple of things coming up that I wanted to throw at y'all. A.I., M.D. has been reprinted in the Spring 2024 Dragon Gems Anthology . This story about a misanthropic medical robot originally ran in Unidentified Funny Objects Vol. 8 . Next weekend I will be attending 4th Street Fantasy  and will be appearing on the 10:00am Sunday panel Dwelling on Redemption  alongside Aja McCullough, Aimee Kuzenski, Vivian Shaw, and John Wiswell. If you're there, come say hi! A new story called A Pin Drops is in the June issue of  Flash Fiction Online . It can purchased through their website, and it will appear for free online later this month. It is--hands down--the strangest story I have ever sold. Is it funny? Yes. Is it traumatizing? Also yes. Which is more prominent? I will leave that as an exercise for the reader. Thanks, ]{p

🤐 Boy, What a Joker, What a Funny, Funny Guy... There's a lot that goes into telling a joke. Picture yourself at a party, standing around the kitchen, shooting the breeze, and then people start trying to make each other laugh with jokes. It's your turn--all eyes are on you. So you start with the setup. You're hamming up the absurdity a little, and you're taking note of how your audience is responding. If they're enjoying it, you lean in and stretch things out. If their attention is flagging, you move ahead more quickly. You're gesturing, you're doing voices, and you're building up to the big finish. And then you get there. You pause for emphasis. While you deliver it, you raise your voice by a few decibels so every knows that this  is the punchline. And the people laugh. They reward your effort, because, as noted above, there's a lot that went into telling that joke. Now throw all of it away, because none  of it works on paper... You Aren't Funn...

🥊 'Cause I've Still Got a Lot of Fight Left in Me... Some months ago I found myself in a bar sitting between two groups of people involved in separate conversations. On one side, someone was talking about how Hamilton  is overrated. On the other side, someone was talking about how the CW show Supernatural  is overrated. Now, I'm a huge Hamilton  fan, but for some reason the Supernatural  conversation grated on me more. Because I'm pretty sure that show is exactly  correctly rated. No one watching Supernatural  after fifteen seasons is under the impression that this is high art. It is monster-of-the-week melodrama. But, it is exactly what its fans want, and they enjoy it exactly for what it is--which is why it ran for fifteen seasons! Now, I've never seen it, so I can't personally attest to the quality, but the point remains... Stop Bashing Popular Things I promise, this will eventually circle back to craft. When E. L. James's  Fifty Shades of Grey ...

🎲 It Might Feel Good, It Might Sound a Lil' Somethin'... It's the middle of May, and that means Kurt has once again devoted an entire extended weekend to discovering new board games and socializing with people even nerdier than I am. There was a lot of stuff in Play-and-Win that was new to me, and here they are! Barcelona This one I'd seen at Geekway Mini but hadn't been able to get time on. It's a medium-to-heavy weight tile-laying game about the "Eixample" district of Barcelona that was built in the 1860s. You draw two tokens every turn that represent people in the upper, middle, or working classes and place them in the neighborhood in order to trigger game effects. Then you erect buildings based on which class of people are at the intersections. There are some side objectives you can use to gain more points, a cobblestone board you use to expand storage, a trolley to manage, intersections to build... it's got a lot of moving pieces. It's go...